I really, really had to wrangle this one! But this is how I know that I'm pushing myself. I need to know that I'm doing bigger things.

  I got over a lot of big walls for this. Throughout this whole project I had second thoughts about just about everything you see here, unsatisfied when I thought I would be.. this was just going to be lines and a much simpler background. It's hard to talk about something created from so much raw energy, but I can talk about how every step of the way my wonderful friends were supportive and excited about it, and now I've come around to that too.

  One thing I had been majorly challenged by was how I wanted the background waveforms to look, at first it was only going to be the pink perpendicular lines, and it just felt lacking. Some things I do I try to set limits on, like a framework of expectation, of course in this case that didn't happen (it's been a pattern lately, but doing more than I expected when it's a fulfilling thing is not a problem to me). When I had just racked my brain with a million different versions and ideas that weren't doing it for me, I just sat it out. I sat it out and took my mind off it by playing around a little.

  Waveform is a plugin for OBS (video recording+streaming software) that functions as a fairly simple but highly customizable audio visualizer with a lot of different settings that I messed with. The results (included below) were several incredibly energetic, mesmerizing visualizers that flicker, flash, whirr, collide, and collapse in so many different motions that look synthetic one moment and organic the next. Instantly (or after a Lot of tweaking) I was intimately transfixed, and had a vision to work with.

  Not only had I wavered on so many different design choices here, but even what music I found this art the most intrinsically linked to was a puzzle. A lot of .. loud stuff, for sure! All I remember was testing some audio with the visualizers, and thinking "god I want to listen to Pacemaker again" and "god I bet the stereo panning from Pacemaker would look so fucking cool", and the conclusion I came to was that it looks so fucking cool. So if you were to listen to all of Wanderlust and Go Lucky front to back, maybe you can imagine that a good dozen or so times more, to better paint the picture of me just blasting it through afternoons and evenings and throwing my lines and just doing it all for ME. Just me and the sound and the idea! That's where I come from!! This is who I am!!!!

  You can expect to see this on my music page later, and maybe the last of the sketch edits somewhere else in the future!

  Something so inward is now something so outward. Thank you for coming to see it. You touched me the same way I was touched a long, long time ago. Long before I could have ever imagined doing things like this.